Soccer Heads European Championship

Sports Heads Football European Championship- The popular Series travels east for our next football fix

Big Headed, Tiny-Footed

Now 2.5% harder – not likely to be a claim that is based on provable mathematical workings, but one that certainly sets the tone for Sports Heads Football: European Championship. Light-hearted, immediately entertaining, and devoid of all unnecessary seriousness are just a few qualities that long-term fans will be familiar with, and ones that fans new to Mousebreaker’s series of games big-headed, tiny-footed football games – and even those that don’t even follow the sport - will enjoy without hesitation. The third title soccer-based title in the Sports Heads series, Sports Heads Football: European championship promises to deliver the usual 1 vs. 1, back-of-the-net antics whilst taking the format across the channel and in an easterly direction, allowing us to play in a tournament against all the Europeans teams that a football fan could hope for. There aren’t enough puns in the world about massive heads to use here, so I’ll refrain altogether and simply tell you how good the whole thing is.

Head Over Heels

Firstly, I lied when I said there aren’t enough head-related puns in the world; there are plenty, and I’m making good use of them. Secondly, this game is a fast-paced, goal-a-minute (though usually more frequently than this) game that has you playing on a tiny pitch with a goal at each end, all on a 1 vs. 1 basis. You represent a European team of your choice that you select at the beginning and play your way through the matches that are drawn randomly every time. The aim is simply to score as many goals as you can against your opponent in one minute using the directional arrows to control your player’s movement and the spacebar to kick the ball with your foot. Using a combination of your massive head, tiny foot, and a whole load of randomly-appearing power-ups throughout the game, you strive to achieve international football glory (limited to the European countries, that is; your success doesn’t count elsewhere).

Getting ahead

The pun in this section’s title is almost too much of a stretch, but I’ll press on regardless: the game contains power-ups, which makes the whole thing just a little more interesting and distracts you from the fact that you are playing a very fun game based on an ordinarily boring sport. Power-ups include beneficial upgrades such as speed boosts, growth in size, enlarging of your opponent’s goal, and an increase in the height of your jump; detrimental downgrades are also a thing in this game, with decrease in speed, freezing you on the spot, shortening your player’s height, and  making his goal smaller being a few of the options. Other neutral changes to the gameplay also include a shrinking of the ball, increased ball bounciness, and making bombs drop from the ceiling of the arena. These temporary changes to the game make the matches a little more unpredictable and keep things fun, even after the hundredth time of playing it.

Heading Home

Ok, so I’ve lost a perceived pun-based magic that I didn’t really possess in the first place, but the most important thing is that you have a go at this game to see what all the fuss is about. It isn’t the complete football experience, but rather a unique twist on and fiercely addictive differentiation from the flash-based football norm with some surprisingly solid ball physics, some outrageous power-ups, and an entire European tournament to play through. It isn’t FIFA 2014 or anything, but it’ll do in the mean time; just don’t lose your head over it or anything.


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